I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
