she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
