nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
