My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
