Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
