Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
