I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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