You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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