He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
