I will die if light touches me.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
