Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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