Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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