I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
nutella sex= disaster
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I need moral support for this bender
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
