I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
