Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
