two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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