Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Watching her eat just hurts me
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
