Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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