Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
