bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
