Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
