He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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