hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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