with your own penis?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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