Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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