So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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