Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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