This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
People in love make me want to vomit
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
