Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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