I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
