Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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