It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
