No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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