Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
