some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
