I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
