Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
