Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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