Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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