His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
