My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
