he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Come see our sink grown plant.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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