We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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