I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize