some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
