She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
