I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
