we're blogging at a bar
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
