He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
