dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
